Approximately 1 in 176,000,000 — those are the odds you will win the lottery at some point.Those odds aren’t good.
I don’t want to damper your expectations of magically becoming richer than you could ever imagine, but you won’t ever win the lottery.
This list covers things far more likely to happen in your lifetime than winning the lottery.Enjoy this healthy dose of reality, and enjoy the extra money you’ll have by not buying lottery tickets every week.
Table of Contents
1. Getting Struck by Lightning
There’s sad solace in knowing that you’re far more likely to get struck by lightning than win the lottery. You’ve got a 1 in 1 million chance to be zapped, which are odds that, quite frankly, still terrify me.
There’s a reason I refuse to go near windows during thunderstorms: I want to avoid being part of that harrowing statistic.
2. Dating a Millionaire
There are more millionaires in the dating pool than you think, and a single dater has a 1 in 215 chance of pairing up with somebody with at least $1 million in the bank.
So, if you just started dating and your first date had no financial insight, don’t worry. If you date about 214 more people, you may find your millionaire. Don’t give up hope. Finding love (and a healthy bank account) is right around the corner.
3. Being Involved in a Shark Attack
I don’t care if the odds of being attacked by a shark are 1 in 11.5 million. Those are still good odds in my book. While winning the lottery would feel fantastic, it isn’t even on the same level as being attacked by a shark. I would prematurely forfeit all my lottery winnings if it meant I was impervious to an incident like that.
“Why didn’t you accept your winnings?” they’d ask. “Oh, well now I’m impervious to shark attacks. It’s a deal I made a long time ago.”
4. Having Identical Quadruplets
The only thing more rare than giving birth to identical triplets is giving birth to identical quadruplets. Future moms have a 1 in 15 million chance of this happening to you. It’s far more likely to happen than you winning the lottery.
The upside of having identical quadruplets is you’ll get your name in the paper, probably get lots of baby gifts, and be respected by other moms worldwide. The downside, obviously, is the whole “giving birth to four humans at once” part.
5. Drowning in a Bathtub
Talk about nightmare fuel. There’s a 1 in 840,000 chance that you’ll drown in a bathtub. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 3,500 Americans die by drowning every year.
Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to avoid suffering this fate. Don’t fall asleep in the tub, don’t drink excessive amounts of alcohol when taking a bath, and use common sense whenever you’re around water deep enough to drown in. Don’t become a statistic.
6. Pogo Stick-Related Injury Sending You to the ER
Pogo stick-related injuries are among the most hilarious yet embarrassing reasons to go to the emergency room. The average person has a 1 in 115,300 chance of suffering an injury from improper pogo stick use.
The solution to this is simple: stay far, far away from pogo sticks whenever possible. They’re accidents waiting to happen, and you can decrease your odds dramatically by never going near one of these injury factories.
7. Finding a Four-Leaf Clover
The little kid in all of us daydreams about finding the perfect four-leaf clover waiting to be plucked by our eager hands. The odds of this occurring are approximately 1 in 4,000, which seems reasonable. You could find one fairly quickly in the wild with some luck (and knowledge of where four-leaf clovers grow).
Granted, you can do nothing with a four-leaf clover other than stare at it or eat it (if you’re a weirdo), but still, it’s a daydream-worthy scenario nonetheless.
8. Dying From Flesh-Eating Bacteria
In all likelihood, dying from a flesh-eating bacteria is rare. You have a 1 in 1 million shot of dying in this manner, which is the same probability of being struck by lightning. Those are sky-high odds, so don’t stress.
Unfortunately, there’s still a better chance of you being defeated by flesh-eating bacteria than ever winning the lottery. It’s sad, but true.
9. Having a “Genius” Child
Having a kid that is a bonafide “genius” (at least according to test scores) will happen to one out of every 250 parents. Those are good odds. There are a lot of upsides to having a genius kid. After all, the all-but-assured free ride to college would be music to any parent’s ears.
Unfortunately, the odds of having a child hopelessly addicted to social media and smart devices is about 100% in 2024.
10. Becoming an Astronaut
Growing up, I thought being an astronaut was the coolest thing in the world. I would’ve traded in my original Nintendo for even a slight leg up in accomplishing that dream. Donning the space suit and floating around in zero gravity seemed cooler than anything else as a kid.
Had my parents told me the probability that I’d ever make it to outer space was about 1 in 12.1 million, I would’ve dedicated my daydreaming to something far more productive.
11. Getting a Hole-in-One
I’m an avid golfer. Correction: I’m an avid golfer who is terrible. I don’t know why I sink so much money into the dumb sport. There’s a 1 in 12,000 chance I ever hit a hole-in-one, and those are the kinds of long odds that keep me going to the course.
I can’t imagine the feeling I’d have if I actually sunk a hole-in-one. There’d be a massive celebration right there on the tee box. I’d pop the champagne and never stop smiling.
12. Shaking the President’s Hand
The president of the United States shakes hands with tens of thousands of people annually, which gives you a 1 in 5,000 chance of getting that skin-to-skin contact with the Commander-in-Chief you desire.
I don’t know if shaking the president’s hand is worth it these days, but it’s still a unique experience that not many Americans can say they’ve had.
13. Finding a Pearl in an Oyster
Finding something as trivial as a four-leaf clover doesn’t compare to being truly lucky in the form of opening an oyster and finding an honest-to-goodness pearl inside. There’s a 1 in 10,000 chance of this happening to you, so always treat opening an oyster with the same unbridled enthusiasm as a little kid opening Christmas presents.
I’ve never found a pearl inside an oyster, but I’d consider myself extremely lucky if I did.
14. Being Crushed by a Meteor
There’s a 1 in 700,000 probability of you getting crushed by a meteor over your lifetime, which is about 5,000 times more than I imagined. That’s no way to go. It sounds painful.
Although there’s basically no chance of this happening to you, it nevertheless will cause me to look up into the sky way too often at random points of my day.
15. Competing in the Olympics
Becoming a world-class Olympic athlete requires plenty of God-given skill, determination, work ethic, and luck.
Most people have none of that. The odds of someone competing in the Olympics are pretty slim: a mere 1 in 500,000. Since that happening is still far more likely than you winning the lottery, I wouldn’t place any bets on you bringing home a gold medal or a jackpot anytime soon.
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Chris Phelan
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